Independence

It was a brave move for CJ, now a Virginia Commonwealth University junior majoring in forensic science, to attend school in Virginia. “When I chose VCU I was looking for distance from my family.” said CJ, who is originally from New Hampshire. “But, the distance kind of came as a trade-off. I needed to be away from my family in order to develop into myself and feel safe, but I was the only New Hampshire person at VCU.” For CJ, not knowing anyone presented a problem, because when he first arrived at VCU, CJ was afraid to go places alone. “I historically haven’t even been able to go to the grocery store by myself. I just couldn't be alone in public.” 

Thankfully, CJ and his roommate hit it off. “On the first day we met, we made shadow puppets in our dorm room. We instantly became best friends.” Bolstered by this new relationship, CJ was able to connect with others. “I met a friend, Mary, through my roommate and she dragged me to Pace,” CJ recalled. “I didn’t want to go originally because I didn't know anyone there except for her, but I did want to find friends.” Despite his initial misgivings, CJ continued following Mary to the Pace Center.”I would just follow Mary along and she was already leading some programs at Pace. She was always my safety net and I attended a lot of events with her.” When Mary stopped attending Stories & Lunch due to her schedule, CJ felt confident enough to continue going by himself. Now, CJ is one of the leaders of the event. “I started going to leadership meetings with Mary and I would just kind of sit there. Eventually, I was like, ‘What if I just participate?’ Then, I even started going to events alone and leading Stories & Lunch and Walk A Dog.”

CJ directly credits the social skills and leadership skills he’s gained at Pace to other opportunities he’s had outside of Pace. “Pace has definitely made me more outgoing and better at leadership stuff. For the past two summers, I’ve worked at the National Student Leadership Conference in DC as a counselor. I don't think I could have done it without Pace. I've definitely gained a lot of confidence and independence. I think that being at Pace and doing things by myself without the security blanket of my friends has really helped me grow.” 

“All of the anxiety in my head is channeled into this, like, non-independent person. But Pace has kind of gotten me out of that. It made me a leader and I can be more confident and independent because of being a leader here,” CJ reflects. “Honestly, being here is all it takes.”

Your support has helped countless students like CJ build confidence and independence by becoming a part of Pace’s community. Thank you!